The 4th
by Breezewhiskers
Summary: Gaige struggles to come to terms with her growing attraction to everyone's favourite barkeep Moxxi. Could Moxxi perhaps settle on someone once and for all?
1. Wanted Advances

Gaige always loved going to Moxxi's after she and the other vault hunters had raided the stronghold the Bloodshots were cooped up in. They always had some good guns in their grimy, greasy bandit hands, most likely provided by Marcus.

She had yet to come across a better combination than starting the day blasting away nomads and marauders, and then taking a trip to Moxxi's to celebrate their success. Sometimes she would consider hanging out with Mordecai on the balcony of the Crimson Raider's HQ, but it was at times like these that she promptly forgot of all other possibilities.

The merry band of vault hunters were situated around a table, closest one you could get to the bar so that Salvador would be less cranky about his empty bottles. Axton sat furthest out on the stained and dingy sofa, casually chugging some Rakk-ale whilst Maya sat closest to the wall, sipping on something that looked like water, save for the blue tint.

On the other side of the table Gaige and Zer0 were lounging on an identical sofa, although the stains on this one reminded her of some tacky leopard design. Zer0 sat closest to the wall, preferring to be limit his exposure to the rest of the bar as much as possible, he still got a lot of stares from the inhabitants of Sanctuary, despite having been here for months by now. Zer0 naturally wasn't drinking anything, he merely observed, as always. Still, he seemed content enough, his posture was upright and his helmet flashed smiley faces when the others were joking and laughing.

Gaige wasn't much of a drinker either, she always preferred the non-alcoholic option so that she could work on Deathtrap without any biological distractions. She also preferred the sweeter taste of the purple soft-drink that the bar served. She'd asked what the beverage was called, but never received an answer, only shrugs and apathetic shoulder movements. The vault hunters had branded it "Gaige's purple stuff", or GPS for short. It served its purpose well enough.

Soon enough everyone's glasses had been depleted and Salvador made quite a show of it, throwing his tree-trunk arms up to the ceiling and letting everyone know how he felt about glasses that were smaller than his hands, which to his credit, were rather massive. Axton shoved his left index finger into his left ear to lessen the onslaught of brazen Pandorian profanity and gestured towards the bar for a refill. Gaige frowned at Salvador's screaming which muted the rhythmic pounding of the music that was always played, she had grown to immensely enjoy the seductive beat, the dark, deep bass that permeated her metal arm and made the metal digits flick and tap in rhythm to the track. The yelling had made her hands stop dancing and drop dead on her skirt.

Gaige heard the distinctive _click-clack_ of stiletto heels on the wooden floor, to which she turned her head to the left and laid eyes upon a curvaceous seductress, dressed like something out of Wonderland with her outlandish dress and top hat. Her face, like always, was painted a chalk white, with her cheeks a soft, gentle blush. A small beauty mark was situated above her lips, always smiling in a teasing manner, painted with what looked like the very essence of cherries. What Gaige found the most beautiful about the woman was her eyes, they almost seemed to glow with teal energy, they were far more mesmerizing than a fat stack of eridium and they filled her with just about as much excitement as 400 stacks of anarchy, but without the confidence that her power brought, for here she was powerless. She tried to avert her own eyes to something else, but they just stopped at her lashes, long as her fingernail on her thumb and covered in mascara which spread like a corrupting influence to the rest of the area around her eye, framing her teal jewels and ending in a trail that looked like tears, even though she never showed signs or even hints of sadness. The alluring queen of Sanctuary, Moxxi, had Gaige at her mercy, and she couldn't help but to revel in the sensation the realization brought her.

"Hey there sweethearts, Rakk ale for Axton and little-old Salvador." Moxxi plopped three 2-liter glasses in front of the two men, one for Axton and two for Salvador.

"Siren special for Maya" Moxxi sent the glass of blue tinted liquid sliding over the table into Maya's hands with a smirk.

"And of course, your own personal stuff Gaige." The barkeep whispered in a voice so husky Gaige _swore _a circuit in her robotic arm must've popped. Moxxi bent down and gently placed the mug of purple fluid directly in front of Gaige. The pig-tailed machinist's eyes unavoidably glided to the vast display of cleavage that was on display right in front of her. She could just about trace the heart on Moxxi's chest with her nose...

Gaige snapped out of her trance as soon as she could, which was to say, too late. Everyone at the table had caught her staring save for Axton and Salvador who were too busy guzzling their ale. Poor Gaige looked like she'd swallowed a litre of Tabasco judging by the hue of her face and her embarrassed, pained expression. To this, Maya smiled a knowing smile, whilst Zer0's helmet flashed a heart emoticon, bathing the intimate booth in light matching Gaige's flushed face.

"I-I" Gaige tried to formulate an excuse, without success, since Moxxi interrupted her with a _very _sensual moan.

"Oh baby doll! You should have told me earlier Gaige! There's no shame in being attracted to women y'know." Moxxi gasped while running her hand up the back of Gaige's neck, ruffling the sensitive hairs and making her involuntarily shudder.

Gaige wanted nothing more than to stay in her seat, or in Moxxi's lap, but she reluctantly pulled herself away, leapt over the table earning a "Oi! Watch where you're going amigo!" from Salvador who's drinking had been interrupted by Gaige's acrobatics. As she ran out of Moxxi's den, she glanced back at the table and saw Moxxi's left eyelid gracefully slide shut into a pitch-black wink. The barkeep raised her hand, extending her pinkie and thumb to her head and mouthed two words with her cherry lips.

"ECHO me."


	2. The Theoretical Experiment

Gaige walked through the streets of Sanctuary at a brisk pace. Eventually she ended up at the Crimson Raider's HQ. Haphazardly, she unlocked the door and stumbled into the office/living space of Patricia Tannis. The little hovel always smelt of bacon, much to the crazy doctor's irritation. Gaige and the rest of the vault hunters who frequented the place didn't mind however. Personally, Gaige had a theory about Mordecai stuffing the laundry machines full of bacon in order to drown out the smell of the old socks Tannis always kept on clotheslines around the bunks and desks. He certainly complained a lot about how they always littered about the place like skag refuse piles.

Gaige's pondering was promptly interrupted by Tannis poking her on the forehead whilst drooling slightly. The young machinist swatted the hand away like a persistent fly. The crazy doctor was prone to fits of odd behaviour like this, and she always did something weirder than you would be expecting.

"Ugh, not now Tannis!" Gaige squealed in annoyance whilst she parried the intruding fingers of Patricia.

"You are behaving in a fashion most erratic, is something the matter?" Tannis spewed out the words like swift fingers on a typewriter, still not ceasing her merciless jabbing at the Mechromancer.

"Oh that's just stupid, coming from Dr. Crazy over here!" Gaige fumed and removed herself from arms reach of her assailant, ascending to one of the various bunk beds that littered the area.

Tannis wiped away the drool from her face that had begun to accumulate on the floor and straightened her posture.

"You may not believe it, but my concern for your decent-being is shamefully, genuine." The doctor's head drooped to gaze at the drool puddle in what appeared to be disbelief.

Shortly, her head popped up again, her neck making a cracking sound. "Which is why when I inquire about your mental state, it is not out of scientific interest, only the personal, boring kind." To Gaige's ears, this sounded like a confession out of a chick-flick, only with gracious amounts of insanity injected into the final scene.

"So I ask again. Is. There. Something. Wrong?" Tannis punctuated every word with moving a step forward and gesturing with here arms until she came to the foot of the bed staring straight into Gaige's eyes.

Tannis was crazy, utterly bonkers and telling her about her strange love life wasn't going to solve anything. The woman talked to ceiling chairs for pete's sake! Gaige weighed the possibilities of making a break for it, but decided that would only complicate things further.

"I, uhm..." Gaige's eyes darted around the office, searching for an excuse.

"Yes?" The crazy woman's neck elongated even further.

"I think-"

"Yeeeees~?" Tannis interrupted with a maniacal smile.

"I might be... kind of..." At this distance, Gaige could see that the doctor's eyeballs were starting to tremble and they were disturbingly dry. She shook her head and regained her composure, fearing that any more delays would surely cause the twin globes to burst. Which would be bad. _Really _bad.

"I think I might be in love with Moxxi." Gaige blurted out, barely comprehending what came out of her own mouth. Apparently the good doctor understood perfectly and was taken aback by the new-found revelation.

Of course, that description is completely inaccurate.

Gaige felt a wave of hot air cascade upon her features, originating from the black hole that was Patricia's mouth. Upon reflex she clamped her eyelids shut for half a second. When she freed the locks upon her eyes she was greeted with the sight of Patricia seemingly suspended in mid-air above her desk. The panorama only lasted for as long as her eyelids could take it, and the second they closed again, Gaige heard a a crashing noise that sounded like it was trying to imitate an explosion. Which for all intents and purposes, it might as well have been.

Papers fluttered around the workspace like a pack of spooked pigeons, various knick-knacks were pelted against the walls like bullets and Tannis was slammed against the table by the cruel, cruel hands of gravity. Gaige was for lack of a better term, flabbergasted, and could not comprehend how Patricia had spontaneously ended up flying backwards onto her desk. It just didn't make sense. Regaining her motor skills, Gaige rushed to the aid of Tannis, pulling her off the desk she had damaged with her fall.

"You are in no position to call me insane." The doctor deadpanned.

Upon restoring balance to the doctor, Gaige responded with an incredulous "What, _what was that?!"_

"I have heard many moronic theories during my time as a scientist, but feeling romantic attraction towards someone like Moxxi however, is by far the most insane one. Ergo, you are no longer fit to condescend me due to my insanity, seeing as how _your _mental state is clearly of the sort that melts at room temperature." Tannis ended her rant with a mighty huff and pout.

Gaige thought their previous conversation mattered little at this point. "But-but you flew backwards! What was that all about?" Gaige gestured wildly at the area between the bunk bed at the desk.

"I simply had to excuse myself from your immediate presence in order to digest this information." Tannis stated in factual fashion.

Gaige's eyebrows arched enough to almost touch her pigtails at that point. "Seriously? Is it really that bad? I'm that far from hope?"

"Even Brick would agree with me!" Tannis stated in an exasperated tone.

"Well, crap." Gaige threw up both of her arms and paced around the small office space. Shortly she swivelled around to face Patricia again.

"You're the doctor around here! What should I do?" Gaige asked in a pleading tone, bordering on desperation.

"Erase your memory of the past few hours! I find that does wonders for my test subjects!" Tannis suggested with disturbing cheerfulness.

"Won't work." Gaige rebutted with her robotic hand on her chin.

"That's ridiculous, of course it would work!" Tannis countered excitedly whilst gripping Gaige's shoulders in a sharp hold. "We could start right now!" Tannis sported her maniacal grin once more, displaying all her teeth.

"Nah, I mean that the past few hours wouldn't be enough!" Gaige droned with annoyance, her eyes rolling up to meet the ceiling. To this, Patricia's grin faltered into an expression of confusion.

"I've been crushing on her for months!" Gaige confessed in a shouting voice, immediately regretting her actions and palmed her face in regret and anguish.

"That is... problematic." Tannis replied hesitantly. "Erasing more of your memory could prove to be, harmful." Patricia muttered partly to herself. To this, Gaige slumped down onto the floor in defeat.

"What's a poor girl to do against a bombshell like Moxxi?" Gaige sighed.

"As much as I hate to say it, we have to eliminate the problem at the source."

Gaige's head shot up in alert. "You don't mean..."

"Exactly."

"But I can't!" Gaige couldn't believe Tannis would actually go this far.

"In order to eliminate this problem we have to be delicate." Tannis continued unperturbed.

"I keep telling you, I won't do it!" Gaige rose to her feet once more.

"You will have to-"

"Don't say it!" Gaige's eyes flew open in defiance of this ridiculous idea.

"_You will have to-"_

"Hell. No!"

"You will have to court Moxxi." Tannis finished her sentence with a stomp of her foot.

Gaige was stunned, she was expecting something more, well never mind what she was expecting, this idea was even worse! There was no way in hell that this could ever work. Impossible! Had anyone on Pandora ever heard of dating? Maybe erasing her memory was a great idea at this point! She was going to agree to the process before her mouth rebelled against her conscience and uttered the dreaded words.

"What's her favourite chocolate?" Gaige asked with glee.

Well shit.

Reviews are appreciated, also thoughts on where I should go with this. Thanks to everyone who has followed and enjoyed the story so far!


	3. Pandora's First Date

"BorED, borED, borEd. Bored bored bored bored bored bored bored."

That's what Zer0 would have said in this situation.

The neon den of depravity was deserted. It looked like no-one had been in here for years. Up at the bar Moxxi held her lonely watch, her left hand supporting her drooping, yet ever beautiful face. Even ol' Hamerlock was out and about for some archaeological reason that involved bullymongs and whatnot's.

It was at times like these that she missed her Underdome the most. It was full of space that she could explore, plenty of colourful individuals coming and going to keep her occupied, and the crowds, oh the crowds! How they would yearn for her, to see her vault and smile atop of her own little island amidst a maelstrom of lead, fire, lighting and gore. Nothing could compare to that feeling. To be desired. Not for her frankly fabulous looks, but for her energy and character. They roared for her because she told them to, without flashing her cleavage or batting her eyelashes, she had Pandora scream for her with just a megaphone.

Now that she was amongst the common folk, she didn't have that kind of sway any more. Down here, she was simply the woman with tits. As much as the title was appropriate, to them she was that, and only that. Some days it was fine. Other days it was intolerable. When some punk thought that booze would make him irresistible, he went straight to Moxxi to try and take what his deluded mind thought it deserved.

They _tried._

After the first few dozen of drunkards that tried to lay a finger on her ended up at Dr. Zed's with jagged glass in their disgusting hands, red hot bullets in their quivering kneecaps and rusty nails in their putrid tongues they started to get the idea. They never truly stopped though, which is why she now staples their eyelids open and forces them to watch what she does to them. They stay away for a _long _time after that.

Moxxi glanced at the clock above Hammerlock's usual position and saw it was time to close up. With a sigh she switched the stereos playing her music off, turned off the lights with the funky switch that wouldn't work unless you punched the area where the wires would be under the wall. She locked up the important things in her strongbox beneath the counter, locked the front door and was heading out with none of her usual swinging in her hips. She looked utterly defeated as her hand trailed along the wall in disappointment and exhaustion. As she descended the small set of stairs that led into the back alley she relished the fresh air, she stood still for a moment and closed her black eyelids. Due to her relaxation, she failed to realize that someone was heading towards her at an alarming pace.

"BITCHASSSSSS!"

Moxxi's eyes unsealed like fingers snapping, but it was still too late to respond. She thought the voice sounded like-

Pain blanketed Moxxi's left side, accompanied with the force of a leaping bullymong. It felt uneven and blunt and it followed her when she lost her balance, landing like a sack of potatoes on top of her, if the potatoes were made of lead. She felt her iconic top hat leave her head and immediately felt incomplete without it. The dusty and rock-pelted street bit into her back, sandwiching her between, literally, a rock and a hard... thing?

When the ringing subsided, Moxxi turned to look at her assailant. To her bafflement it was none other than Gaige, and from the expression pinned to her face, Gaige appeared mortified, similar to how a kid looks like when he or she breaks mommas favourite vase. Moxxi simply looked inquisitively at the Mechromancer before she fixed her features into her usual slyness.

"You might not be saying much, but your hands are rather... adequate substitutes." Moxxi said with a grin, fixing her upper body into a lounging position with her elbows supporting her.

Gaige finally realized that her left hand was clamped down on Moxxi's breast, her right hand on her hip and one of her legs was invading Moxxi's thighs. Gaige's entire body leapt backwards in reflex whilst she bore a horrified expression upon her face.

"Ohmygosh I am SO sorry! I mean - are you okay even? I was on my way when- then you were there and I-" Gaige shuffled towards Moxxi and extended her hand towards the fallen queen whilst she uncontrollably spewed out nonsensical excuses. Moxxi took the robotic limb that was offered, to her surprise it was incredibly strong and lifted her with little trouble. Gaige was still apologising and fumbling, to this Moxxi placed an elegant, unblemished finger onto Gaige's petite lips.

"Don't worry your pretty head over it, Gaige. I think I needed some action anyway." Moxxi finished with her customary seductive half-lidded gaze into the machinist's eyes before she turned around to search for her hat. She found it resting a few feet away from her landing spot. She picked it up and dusted it off, but to her dismay the queen of hearts card that was usually on display was gone. She searched for it with a pained look, but it was nowhere to be found. Great, more disappointment from a day that was already turning sour, not counting Gaige. That girl was sweet.

"D-Didya lose something?" Gaige hesitantly asked.

"Just my lucky card." Moxxi sighed and placed her hat back on her head.

Gaige looked nervous, incredibly nervous in fact. Moxxi started to wonder if the girl was still feeling guilty over an accident that she didn't mind too much, aside from the brief pain.

"Gaige. Are you feeling okay sweetie?" Moxxi tipped her head in concern.

"I-I wanted to ask..." Gaige tried to hold her gaze but she continually looked down, up or beside Moxxi.

"Well go on and ask. I've heard just about everything, working in a bar and all!" Moxxi laughed.

...

"D'ya wanna like... go on a date?" Gaige looked down at her sneakers and waited to be rejected. She was so gonna get rejected. Oh golly gosh, here it comes.

Moxxi was taken aback. Date? Dating on Pandora was something she'd never heard of. Nobody had ever done it, everyone was too busy firing guns and robbing people to worry about dating. Even with her previous husbands, they didn't _date_. they flirted, felt an attraction and got married. Simple as that. Now Gaige wanted to _date _her? Moxxi, the queen of Sanctuary? She wasn't exactly known for long term relationships, her husbands weren't the type. Moxxi thought she had tried everything Pandora had to offer, but dating wasn't one of them. A few wheels started to turn in Moxxi's head, digesting this new-found revelation.

"Why would you want to date _me_?" Moxxi asked sceptically, planting a hand on her chest for emphasis.

"Well... I think you're attractive..." Gaige answered half-heartedly.

"Sugar, if that were the only reason, I would have a lot more dates and a lot fewer ex-husbands." Moxxi smirked and set her hands on her hips.

Gaige seemed to gather up some courage and resolve. She stood straighter and looked at her in the eye.

"I admire your confidence, and the fact that you don't take crap from anyone. I just like _you._" Gaige finished with a look that said "_Come at me brah."_

Moxxi had to admit, this sounded sincere. Roland and Lilith had the closest thing to an actual functioning, loving relationship. Yet it didn't work out as well as it sounded. They were just a bit incompatible, and Lilith's eridium addiction didn't exactly help. Gaige didn't seem like she was out for a quick tumble in the hay either, the more Moxxi thought about it, the stranger it seemed on a place like Pandora. Then again, Moxxi always had a thing for the strange. Finally deciding on a course of action, she prowled up to Gaige, leaned in and whispered:

"Here, tomorrow, this time."

Without waiting for a response, Moxxi sauntered off with returned sway in her hips. Poor Gaige though she was being discreet when she was leaping in joy and screaming victorious catchphrases in a hushed voice.

"_This might turn out to be something interesting."_


	4. Little Big Awesome

Due to demand, I have added some KriegxMaya in this.

* * *

It was time.

It was time and _she wasn't here._

Gaige was grinding her fingers against her skirt in anticipation and dread. More-so of the latter. What if she wasn't going to show? Maybe she just wanted to crush Gaige's silly hopes to show who the alpha female on this planet was. It wasn't unthinkable that something like that should happen, she'd witnessed it back at her high-school. Plenty of lovestruck teenagers would wallow in shame and self-pity for months on end after they had been abandoned to be the topic of someone's amusement.

It would be a real shame too, she had brought Illium flowers, a bright purple bundle of rose-like flowers that were noticeably bigger than Earth roses. They were some of the longest-lasting flowers in the known galaxy. and to just have them sitting around would only serve to remind her of this defeat. Gaige couldn't just bring herself to throw away something that she thought was beautiful, which is why she had so many old broken down gadgets and knick-knacks that she just couldn't bring herself to part with, although Kreig seemed to be helping with that. He would periodically swipe something from the boxes around her bed claiming he needed them to add a second seat to his "meat bicycle". Shortly afterwards, Maya would return the stolen object. She was the only person who seemed to view the psycho as something more than a sallad-making killing machine. Perhaps Maya could help her out in that case? She seemed to have a knack for unsolvable mysteries, and Moxxi was certainly a mystery.

Of course, mysteries are supposed to be uncovered like chapters in a book. Not sneak up on you from behind and scare the bejeezums outta you.

"_Hello." _

It was just a simple greeting, but the way her tongue lavished the word made Gaige shudder, at first she thought it was fear, but on retrospect it was anticipation and _delight_. She was delighted that her fears had been immolated with a word from the woman she had been doubting a few moments ago. Still facing away from her date, Gaige gathered her courage and turned around to face the woman of her dreams.

As always, she was a diva to behold. She'd made some changes for this occasion though. She had reverted her outfit back to her red dress from when she still ran the Underdome. Gaige found the throwback much more... potent than the purple outfit she wore all the time. The scarlet dress brought out her cheeks, and she'd put a new card in her hat. The queen of hearts was all the more befitting for this occasion.

"Figured I might do something special for what must be the first romantic gesture on Pandora." Moxxi giggled, knowing Gaige liked what she saw.

Gaige was too bedazzled to respond, so she simply brought out her flowers from behind her back and presented them to Moxxi with a slight redness in her cheeks, she knew it was corny but what else was she supposed to do? Give her a gun as a present? No, flowers were a rarity on Pandora and hopefully, she would recognize what the gesture meant.

Moxxi was confused. Gaige had brought her Illium flowers? She'd heard about various loving gestures on different planets, but flowers were by far the most popular one. There would always be some horrendously sappy story that contained loving bouquets as ways to say "thank you" and "sorry" and, worst of all, "I love you". Words that one would never hear living on a planet like Pandora. She'd never expected that something like those stories would actually happen to _her_ of all people. Her hands reached forward with barely contained excitement to grasp the bundle of purple, she gingerly lifted the bouquet and held it close to her chest, fearing that it would fracture if she did anything hasty. Her eyes were still, her expression like she was holding an adorable little kitten for the first time in her life. For the first time in a long time, Moxxi's true thoughts were exposed and laid utterly bare for anyone to see, written across her face like fireworks.

"You like 'em?" Gaige squeaked with happiness, hoping that her first impression had been a memorable one. Moxxi looked up from her gift with a satisfied look that bordered on dreamy. "You have no idea, sugar." Moxxi purred in affirmed satisfaction before her features changed into uncertainty, she had to do something, _anything,_ but she didn't know how to properly respond, so she went with something she saw on a late night ECHOcast. The queen of Sanctuary hesitantly offered her arm to Gaige, uncertain of what to do next. The bubbly Mechromancer slithered into the half-embrace with nothing but joy on her face, unashamed and eager like Tiny Tina around a batch of TNT.

"Where are we off to?" Moxxi asked, with none of her usual confidence.

"Just my humble abode, your highness." Gaige replied with glee, showing all her teeth in her excitement. As the two women left the alley behind the bar, a fist was slammed into the ground in frustration behind a concealing dumpster as Zer0 collected a hefty sum of cash from Axton, who had just lost a certain bet.

With that, Gaige started steering them both towards the Crimson Raider's HQ with spring in her step. Moxxi took the time to ponder over this strange turn of events. She felt awkward and out of place, locking arms with someone in such a manner, it was far more intimate than anything she'd ever done with one of her husbands, it was so... _loving_. Even so, dating rituals? Flowers? She didn't really know how to feel about this. She accepted Gaige's invitation because she thought it might be fun to see how the girl would handle herself, but then, for the first time in her life, she had received a thoughtful gift with no strings attached, no favours. It was then she realized something truly frightening. Something wonderfully scary.

Gaige was serious about this. About her. It was a good thing, she knew. It didn't stop her from being slightly terrified at what that meant for her though. She was woken from her thoughts when she heard a familiar growling. "MY GARLIC HAS BEEN UNLOCKED BY THE KOOL-AID KEY!" Moxxi glanced to the left, where Krieg was having a "conversation" with Maya. He was standing erect, bellowing his nonsense as usual. Maya didn't try to talk back, instead she simply laid a gentle hand on the psycho's shoulder, somehow steering him to sit down on a bench. He seemed calmer, intensely staring at Maya, waiting for her next move. If looked at from an artist's point of view it was almost, romantic, in a horribly twisted fashion. The psycho and the siren, sitting in a park and feeding doves? How quaint. Moxxi couldn't look too long though, she had to stay focused on the woman beside her. After seeing how Maya had some kind of hold on Krieg, she thought to herself that if two outcasts like that could make it work to some degree, maybe it could work better with someone who didn't talk about toasters eating dinosaur legs?

As they arrived at the door to the CRHQ, Gaige's robot arm was clacking slightly. She had a hard time containing her cool with that thing, but damn, this could be the best damn night of her _life! _She closed her metal fingers around the door handle and looked back at Moxxi to assess her situation. She looked serious, her usual lazy gaze was gone, leaving her eyes fully open. Her usual smirk had been wiped, leaving a neutral line across her face, when Gaige took it all in, she concluded that Moxxi was taking this as seriously as she was, but her body wasn't tense, she was loose and intrigued. So far, everything was going better than she had expected.

"I've arranged it so we have the place mostly for ourselves tonight." Gaige finally spoke in a hopeful tone. With that said, she opened the door to the vault hunter's hovel and strolled up the stairs, disappearing behind the corner due to Moxxi's heels slowing her ascent. Upon reaching the second floor, she cautiously prowled through the communications centre, trying hard not to touch anything. She was so fixated on the screens placed on the walls that she bumped into Gaige who was waiting for her in the doorway to the balcony. When Gaige was sure that she had Moxxi's attention, she stepped back and gestured with her metallic arm to the balcony in an upwards swooping motion.

"Tah-daaa!" Gaige chirped in a sing-song voice. In the middle of the space, a table had been set with a chequered tablecloth, above said table brightly coloured light bulbs were suspended in a circle by electrical cords. She had also closed off the empty spaces to the sides with large curtains suspended from the ceiling so the place didn't look as barren as it usually did. Moxxi didn't know how Gaige's incredible mind worked, but she was certain it was more complicated than digistructing technology. She had no idea what to say, she loved it, but this was worth more than a pithy innuendo.

"Gaige, I... I don't know how to properly express myself but..." Moxxi stammered, for once in her life she had no idea to say.

"Ya don't like it?" Gaige muttered disappointingly and looked to her sneakers in defeat.

"No! No, I freaking _love it! _It's just that... no-one has ever done anything like this for me before! I don't know how to thank you." Moxxi shook her head and hands trying to get her message across in every way possible. She was _not _going to lose this, not for anything. Gaige's head popped up again, a smile back on her face.

"Thank me by staying?" Gaige asked hopefully.

"I think I can manage that, killer." Moxxi assured the Mechromancer with her half-lidded gaze and trademark smirk.

Moxxi took her seat and watched Gaige scamper back inside. She made her way to the storage vault that occupied the room in front of the command centre, she faced away from the storage and opened a well concealed fridge that was placed in the corner under a shower curtain, navigated around Patricia's various experiments and removed a large bucket of spaghetti with meat sauce. Using both hands, she shut the fridge using a well placed kick to the door and carried the bucket out to the balcony.

"I haven't seen food like this in at least six years..." Moxxi murmured in surprise.

"Yeah, I had some help from Brick. He's probably the best chef on Pandora for all I know." Gaige stated with glee.

After enjoying the surprisingly excellent pasta, Moxxi decided to pose a question.

"You know plenty about me from all the jobs you do. Could you perhaps tell me a little about you?" Moxxi sucked on the fork for added effect.

"Well, I was like, top student at my school before I came to Pandora. Didn't have that many friends so I spent all my time working on projects like DT." Gaige recounted in a factual fashion.

"DT?" Moxxi inquired.

"Yeah, Deathtrap. Y'know, the big-ass hovering robot of death that follows me around sometimes?" Gaige gestured with her hand to try and give Moxxi an idea of the size she was talking about.

"Oh right that thing. I always thought it was kinda cute." Moxxi seemed to laugh a bit with her fork still in her mouth.

"Wasn't that cute when he accidentally vaporized my bitchy classmate in front of the entire school." Gaige murmured in a joking tone.

Moxxi's image seemed to pause. Then she started to giddily laugh, releasing her utensils in comedic surprise.

"Oh my goodness, that _actually _happened?" Moxxi squeezed in the sentence between her laughing fit. "I'm just imagining it, show-and-tell at school and POOF! I know shouldn't laugh but it reminds me of this sketch I saw once." Moxxi kept laughing at her inside joke, whatever that sketch was, it must've been _hilarious_.

"Yeah, he wasn't properly calibrated, registered her as a threat when she shoved me into my exhibition." Gaige said shyly, prodding her pasta more.

"Oh killer, I wouldn't feel bad about it. You couldn't have known." Moxxi stopped giggling, suddenly sincere, and instinctively put her hand on top of Gaige's empty one. Gaige's eyes darted to the meeting of hands, then looked into the eyes of the foreign hand's owner.

"Thanks, I think I needed to hear that from somebody." Gaige murmured in a melancholy voice. "That was a bad day." The Mechromancer looked back at her enveloped hand, relishing the genuine connection between the two, physically and emotionally.

"Bad days are part of life. I just learn to live with them. Y'know, yesterday I was having a bad day, but when you came charging in, you made it slightly better." Moxxi smiled a truly infectious smile

"You'd better start making some sexy innuendoes or I may think you're Zer0 in disguise or something creepy like that." Gaige jested, having gained new energy from Moxxi's display of affection. The red seductress simply smiled and removed her hand, bringing it close to the edge of the table with her other arm and leaning in with help of her elbows.

"I really enjoyed this. So much so that I think I want to do it again sometime." Moxxi purred.

"_Seriously? _Ohmygod that means so much to me! Thank you! Thankyouthankyouthank-" Gaige was silenced when Moxxi's upper body lunged over the table to give the machinist a quick kiss on the lips. It didn't last long, maybe two seconds, tops. If one was walking on the street outside the CRHQ, one could see two lovers framed by the edges of night, illuminated by the light bulbs above them, sharing a spontaneous kiss. Brick, who was standing a safe distance away, wiped away a tear. It looked so much like The Lady and the Tramp.

Gaige barely registered what had happened before Moxxi pulled away and slunk through the doorway, never breaking eye contact. Before she disappeared from sight, she bent her knees, using one hand to support her upper body, and using her other hand to blow what must have been, the sweetest kiss to have ever graced the world of Pandora. She exaggerated the whole movement, swaying her entire body, mimicking a wind that was flowing through a field of wheat. Her teal eyes were imprinted into Gaige's memory and suddenly the teasing succubus stood again, and the last thing Gaige saw was her coattails bobbing from behind the corner.

Gaige was hexed. She didn't want to move, fearing that might ruin the moment somehow, eventually she collapsed into her chair, sighing heavily. "_Wow. That... was unbelievably... AWESOME." _It was the best feeling in the whole damn world, Gaige rolled around on the balcony in pure ecstasy for a while, slowly being drained of all energy. She eventually crawled back to her bunk and fell into the dark pool of sleep, with the most adorable smile on her face. She looked like a kid who just had the best birthday party in the whole galaxy. Far as Gaige was concerned, she just topped that particular accolades.

When they were sure Gaige was sleeping, several vault hunters emerged from spacious lockers and various other creative hiding places. Zer0 collected yet another fat stack of cash from Axton, who had just lost the second part of their debt. The commando slammed his head into the table whilst pushing his money towards the all-knowing assassin. Lillith knew better than to bet against someone like Zer0 and simply laughed at Axton's misfortune, half-heartedly covering her mouth. The assassin's visor flashed a dollar sign and a smiley face as he raked in his winnings. Tannis emerged from a pile of research papers and jotted down some notes with the speed of a roadrunner, having been monitoring the whole date.

"The stories true/Emotions win again/And so do I.

Gaige was submerged too deeply in sleep to hear what was going on. She was also having some blissful dreams. That smile on her face didn't leave for the entire night.

* * *

Alright, longer chapter, longer time. I also found this chapter a tad more difficult, finding a balance of regular-Moxxi and never-been-on-a-date-Moxxi.

I'd like to remind you people that reviews fuel my drive to continue this story, so keep 'em coming! Big thank-you's to everyone who has followed this story so far and left in-depth reviews! It puts a genuine smile on my face to hear what you guys think. Until next time!

-Breezewhiskers


	5. Calming Void

The girl in the bed woke up like clockwork. Her jaw hurt for some reason. She knew she had forgotten something vital. As she rummaged through the hard drive that was her brain, she found a single word engraved on it.

_Moxxi_

Her visage combusted into the dopey smile she had been wearing all of last night, the sensation was painfully familiar but she couldn't find the negative energy to care about something as minuscule as that when she had so much more to be happy for. With uncanny energy for a morning, Gaige grabbed hold of the bed above hers and hauled herself out of her bunk in action-movie fashion. Her stocking clad legs stumbled as they hit the ground, lethargic from hours of inactivity.

With her balance regained, Gaige was about to head into town to find something edible for this glorious morning when she finally noticed Axton. He was leaning against Patricia's desk and conspicuously sipping on a mug of... something. He had a look on his face that screamed "_I know a secret". _

He cleared his throat. "_Morrrrning, _pigtails!" He resumed his exaggerated sipping.

He was definitely up to something sinister.

"What?" Gaige asked with the slightest pinch of hostility, playing it safe.

"What what?" Axton replied, feigning innocence.

"What do you know that I don't?" Gaige started walking towards Axton, narrowing her eyes and looking at him sideways.

Axton casually glanced at his surroundings, avoiding the Mechromancer.

"Do I know what you know?" Axton asked with a chuckle.

Gaige was becoming impatient. "Maybe, what is it you know that I don't know if I know?"

Axton stopped for a second, sorting the sentence out.

"I don't know if I should be the one to tell you what I know that you know." Axton could at this point, hardly contain his laughter. Having to cover his mouth whilst giggles leaked through.

Gaige couldn't take it any more. She was just going to show Axton what her cybernetic arm could do to puny humans made of flesh when she felt a hand draw her entire left shoulder backwards. A familiar voice that sounded like granite addressed them both in a friendly manner.

"Don't mind him slab, he's just jealous 'cause somebody 'round here is actually gettin' some!" Brick said in his customary half-yelling voice and with a much too happy smile on his face. Gaige was taken aback by his sudden and surprisingly stealthy appearance so much that she lacked words, also what were they implying? "Somebody's getting some"? They don't think that...

Gaige took a step back and held her arms out in a calming fashion, her face deadly serious. "Whoa, WHOA! We didn't do anything like that! How do you know about that anyway?!" Gaige's calm face suddenly twisted into rage and revulsion at her question.

Axton shrugged. "Sanctuary ain't exactly a big town. You'd be surprised at the amount of rumours we hear."

Gaige's eyebrows flew up in disbelief, her mouth askew in a picture of incredulous disbelief. "So you spied on me yesterday?! That was supposed to be private!" Gaige roared as if she was on her last legs fighting bullymongs.

Axton's hands flew up to shield his face. "Hey, hey, hey! Wasn't just me!" He pleaded, knowing that nothing could quench the thirsting rage bubbling from the Mechromancer's adorable exterior.

"YOU MADE THIS PUBLIC?!" Gaige's voice grew louder than Brick's traditional berserking. Brick simply palmed his ears and waited for the tsunami to crash.

"You can't hide something like a _date_in a town like this, you probably wouldn't be able to hide it on the whole god-damn planet!" Axton reasoned.

As much as Gaige knew Axton was making sense, it didn't lessen the feeling of absolute invasion of sacred privacy. Not wanting to worsen the already catastrophic situation, Gaige simply stormed out of the Crimson Raiders HQ. Slamming the four-inch steel door shut with her cybernetic arm, eliciting a shockwave of air that messed up Axton's hairdo. Brick, who had simply been staring straight ahead, slowly removed his hands and let them rest at his sides.

"This is just because you lost to Zer0 wasn't it?"

Axton exhaled in annoyance and relief. "She knows I'm right. With Gaige being the smartest of us all, she'll come around. Eventually." Axton was hopeful, but Maya had once told him an old earth saying that worried him to no end: "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned".

* * *

Gaige didn't know where she was going and she frankly didn't give a damn. She just needed to get away from Axton. Bastards just thought it was okay to spy on something that wasn't meant for their eyes? She HAD been planning on telling them soon about her success with the barkeep, but the events that had transpired that morning had burned away that notion like incendiary rounds in a psycho's naked torso. She wasn't too surprised when she found herself in the alley where she had toppled over Moxxi just the day before yesterday. She didn't know if showing up at her establishment already was the best move for their relationship but she had nowhere else to go. Marcus would throw her out, Zed would just ask her to do "surgery" and wallow around in innards on the floor. Scooter? Hah! She would rather choke on cup of acid than hang out with that hill-billy at a time like this.

Alright perhaps that was just a tad harsh, he is Moxxi's son after all was her next immediate thought. Seeing no other solutions than the door-shaped one in front of her, she took it with zeal.

The place was a little empty. The dart players were still there, along with the odd couple that sat in different booths every visit, along with Sir Hammerlock in his usual position. The apple of Gaige's eye however, was not present. The tiny flicker of hope in her heart went out like one of those little lightbulb-things you put on Christmas tree. Pop!

Another fantastic addition to this bleak morning. Gaige simply let out all the air in her lungs and seated herself on one of the stools in front of the bar counter. Her pigtails almost visibly drooping like rabbit ears, she rested her goggle-clad head on the counter and waited for something. She didn't exactly know what, only that it should probably wear a top-hat.

"Gaige my dear! Come to me for work? Well then I'll have you know that I-"

Not now. No no no. not now.

Gaige hoisted her cranium up with what little energy she had left and stared at the gentlemanly hunter with eyes befitting of a corpse, hoping that her aura of grimness would give him a hint.

"Have a certain problem involving a group of mantis me-" Hammerlock dropped his train of thought at seeing the defeated-looking woman adjacent to him. "You look rather gobsmacked if I may be so bold." His usual jovial tone transforming into the one he used when he learned of Helena Peirce's unfortunate demise.

Eh. What the hell, he was wearing a hat. Not a top-hat, but it'll do for now.

"Yeah, I've been kinda.." What's an accurate description of this feeling she had? "Kinda, pissy this morning." Gaige sighed, she couldn't be bothered with finding a better word.

"I see." Hammerlock curtly replied and sat down next to Gaige. "I hate to pry, but this doesn't happen to coincide with the outcome of yesterday's events taking place at around 10 or 11 p.m? Hammerlock asked with well-masked interest.

"Is their anybody who Axton hasn't told yet?" Gaige fumed irritably.

"Axton? Ha! No my dear, I simply happened to see you exchange flowers and locking arms outside with well, you know-who." Hammerlock revealed with his moustache bouncing along his upper lip with a smirk.

"Might I add it was very gentlewomanly of you. The closest I've ever come to locking arms with someone was when ol' Slappy tore my arm out of its socket! Repressed memories, ho~!" Hammerlock's robotic fingers twitched as he looked at the counter in remembrance.

Well at least he was more supportive about it. "You don't happen to know where she is do you?" Gaige asked hopefully.

Hammerlock stroked his moustache with his human hand. "You see, that's the thing. Recently, our dear friend has taken up a part time job at some ludicrously secret establishment. I only know that it is not located on Pandora and it goes by the name of _The Inventory."_

Gaige's head drooped even lower. Not on Pandora? Gee whiz, this was getting better with every sentence. "So, she takes the fast travel station to a different planet?" Gaige asked in apathetic defeat.

"Mmm, quite." Hammerlock filed his nails. "Highly secretive, I believe the codes are privy to her alone. As well as Claptrap." He shuddered at the robots name.

"Claptrap? Of all the people in Sanctuary, Claptrap knows about interplanetary fast-travel?" Gaige asked with confusion and disbelief leaking out of her mouth like a waterfall.

"It IS rather curious is it not? Whomever has enough influence to organize something like that must have poor taste in character to invite that little bugger." Hammerlock mused. "Ah but gossiping like this only serves to arouse suspicion and poor mannerism. I'm sure our mutual friend will be back soon enough, she never stays out for more than a few hours at most."

The two cyborgs partook in small-talk for approximately an hour before Hammerlock abruptly stood from his seat and told her that he had to do something. Gaige's eyes followed him for a few seconds before she felt another presence, this time behind her. She twisted her vertebrae to get a look at the person behind her, and to her relief, it was the bucket of ice to her raging head.

"You're a sight for my bloodshot eyes." Gaige sighed in relief.

A smirk played across her face. She drew a line across the Mechromancer's shoulders as she walked around to assume her default position. When the queen had at last filled her throne, she extended her gloved hand to Gaige's chin and lifted it like she was controlling a puppet.

"Sugar, you look like like you ended up in the sour department at the candy store." Moxxi finally spoke after scrutinizing the face she held.

Gaige felt like a sail-boat that comes into a harbour during a storm. The bad part of the day was finally over. She would've liked to embrace the woman fully, but she wasn't greedy. The hand holding her face was comforting enough. Gaige let her head sink into the leather palm of the queen's hand and closed her eyes. Enjoying the respite immensely. For a time there was only the sound of her slow breathing, a pillar supporting her head, an oil rig in the midst of the endless, bottomless sea. She could've simply slowly faded away into a dark, endless void of blue-blackness at that time and be at utter peace. She almost did, remembering where she was, Gaige opened her eyes slowly and drowsily replied:

"I think you've sorted me back into the right section."

An earnest smile streaked across Moxxi's lips. "That's what I'm here for." Moxxi slowly eased her hand away from Gaige's chin. The machinist noticed Moxxi's outfit had again changed colour, this time to grey. Not her favourite, but sod it all, the woman looked amazing in any colour.

"So you're a part-timer now?" Gaige inquired, still drowsy.

"On certain nights, yeah. Lots of cash, not a lot of work." Moxxi replied, serving ale to somebody at the counter.

"What do you do?"

"You're not gonna get all protective over me are you?" Moxxi smirked. "Nah, exactly the same thing I do here. It's just a change of scenery, that's all."

Gaige decided not to pry any-more, partly out of exhaustion. The kind of exhaustion you get from simply being bored and not doing anything for a whole day. It felt like being trapped in chewing gum. Every movement useless and tiring, your limbs forced back into the position they occupied milliseconds ago. Ugh, might as well lay down and hope that things turn out better tomorrow.

"Nuh-uh. Not here." Moxxi gently flicked Gaige's nose. She merely let out a small groan of protest.

"What's the matter with you anyway killer? Sleep anything?"

"Mehuh. Shitty morning. Lots of people just observed our... night. Just because they could doesn't mean that they should." Gaige mumbled into the space above the counter.

Moxxi sighed. "That's just how things go, it's Pandora after all."

"I'm just, ugh. Thinking of all the shit that's gonna come flying makes my brain hurt even _more_ than it is right now." Gaige whined.

"I've survived that feeling every time." Moxxi said nonchalantly. "Everyone's secrets leak out someday." she shrugged, obviously used to whatever Gaige was thinking.

Oh well. Things could only get better, right? Gaige hesitantly dared to ask a question. "You, uh, wanna go out again, sometime?" Her voice sounding a lot meeker than it was supposed to.

Moxxi was still busy working by the side, she hesitated to answer at first. "Yeah, that would be swell. Not today though, I don't think I would be all that entertaining, kinda like you are right now." She elicited a chuckle, finishing her sentence.

"Yeah, yeah. ECHO me when you feel like it." Gaige said whilst slinking out of her chair. She was more alert now, but still visibly tired. She walked out the back, like she always did. But this time she found herself supported by the lady of her dreams.

"Don't you have a business to tend to?" Gaige asked coyly.

"Booze addicts can wait for a minute, worst case scenario is that Zed gets a little extra this week." Moxxi winked.

The walk back to CRHQ was made a whole lot better. Though Gaige was a little perplexed as to why Moxxi's hands felt so, how would you say? Careful. That's it. As if she didn't want to get _too _close. She decided against asking right now, seeing as how she didn't have the mental energy, and due to the fact that they had arrived at their destination. Moxxi patted the sleepy woman on her cheeks. "I think you should turn in early. You're no fun like this." The seductress walked off, and before she vanished behind the corner she shaped her hand into a gun, shot Gaige with air, brought her finger to her lips to kiss the barrel, and passed the air kiss to Gaige in dramatic fashion with a wink. A few steps later, the Mechromancer on the front steps. She was alone again, but still better than when she had been alone before. Moxxi had fixed the holes in her hull and tightened the screws in place. She could ask for no more. She had a creative way of doing it no less.

Walking into her home had to be done sooner or later. She decided to just do it. Quietly she slipped in, avoiding other vault hunters who where sitting a playing cards at a table. Thankfully she wasn't noticed. Taking Moxxi's advice, she flopped onto her bunk and waited for a vessel to take her to the oil rig in the unfathomably thick fog, surrounded by the void. Silent, no violence. The calm ocean, hiding the unending conflict underneath. It's so dark, so safe, so snug. Black-blue. A flash of red and purple. A warming cold.

The wind blows without sound. Yet it has lungs. The uncommon wave serves as lips for it.

The ocean has changed. It is disturbed by something new. She doesn't know if she likes the sound. It sounds hopeful. Are you supposed to hear hope through the waves on the rig? She doesn't know. Eventually she grows to like it. It breaks the nothingness just enough to be not broken.

The water is warm.

* * *

I apologize for the delay, I've had a busy few days as well as coming up with what you do the day after a successful date. The coming few weeks are also very busy for me, so expect a slight silence on this front. As always, in depth reviews are my sustenance as a writer, so don't starve me. Big thanks to all you fellows who like my humble story so far, you make my day brighter and my night moonlit!

-Breezewhiskers


	6. ForEverNever

**_Big thanks to LeoCookie who always puts up such in-depth reviews and ideas. They help a lot as shown here._**

**_This chapter also features a fan-favourite. No, I won't tell you who. Go read instead._**

* * *

Moxxi's walk back to the bar was strange. She felt like she was missing her hat although she wasn't, she had checked three times so far. She still had Ruby strapped to her juicy thigh, so that was also out of the question. It was simply an empty feeling. She tried telling herself that this sensation would go away if she ignored it, like she always did. Yet no matter how she bombarded her mind with the notion, she knew that if she went back and maybe settled in with the girl she left on the steps, she would feel like her usual self. Except not.

She felt worried now. She had never needed another person to feel like herself, all three of her husbands had been an accessory, a toy to have fun with, an extra card in her deck, maybe good with numbers or useful for something other than a bed-warmer. She hadn't missed them when they left, died or whatever. Gaige though? That girl _tried._ She _worked _for what she wanted. The Mechromancer had done something truly revolutionary on Pandora just to say "I like you" whilst others would simply have drunkenly stated that they wanted her body. From Gaige, she got something she had been missing for a long time. Respect. Benefit of the doubt. Someone who bothered to look past the sultry exterior of the sultry barkeep. When was the last time someone had actually done that? Ellie, perhaps? Suffice to say, extremely few, extremely seldom.

She pushes these thoughts away. She herds them into the basement, desperately threatening them with an axe in panic. She bars the door, but she can still hear them. Basement doors aren't strong enough to hold truth locked up. She shakes her head. Nope. No. Nada. This kind of crap happens to 20th century humans in their black and white love stories on good ol' planet Earth. Not to her, not in this time and space. Not on Pandora.

The next few hours are sluggish. No-one dares to approach her today for some odd reason. If they order drinks, they do it quickly and without words. Slinking back into the dark booths and corners that she provided, she supposed that made her the keeper of the underworld in what was already the underworld. It didn't have the same ring as it did on other planets, sadly. Oh god no, she was rambling in her mind. Soon enough she'll start to understand Krieg perfectly. She pleaded with the universe, with time and space to just let _something_ happen. She'd rather get shot than endure three more hours with people who pretended she didn't exist for **no reason.**

* * *

Life has a funny habit of making you look back on what you just said and make you say "I wish I thought more about what comes out of my mouth."

She had expected someone to get a jackpot on the slot machines, someone to get shot, a bar-fight, Hammerlock to come up with a new name for Bullymongs, Maya to come lie naked on the counter for her. All these things sounded perfect right now.

Because right now, the world's deadliest thirteen year-old is sitting right in front of her.

_Shit._

"Yo yo yo YOOOO Mox-ayyy, wass goin' down in this joint o' yours?" The cute, but disturbing girl drawled in her default ghetto gangsta-talk, her left eye twitching as it sometimes did.

Moxxi had still not recovered from the shock of seeing _Tiny Tina _in Sanctuary, in _her_ bar of all places. Moxxi's face was frozen, her black eyelids stuck at the tippity-top.

"**Tina**?" Moxxi said as if she had seen a ghost.

"The LEGIT shizz for rizz man. Don' tell me yo ass be gettin senile on dis gurl already." Tina looked mildly offended, hopefully in a joking manner.

"No it's just... you don't come here. At all." Moxxi eyed the sociopath with suspicion usually reserved for characters such as Captain Flynt.

"Pfft, nah man. I jus' need more stuff fo' a couple o' bandonkadonks, Marcus' got _all _the merchandize fo' dem kinda toys." Tina stared dreamily at nothing in particular.

So that made kind of sense. She wondered how the hell someone like Tina would negotiate with somebody like Marcus.

"You must have some serious cash in order to afford those from Marcus." Moxxi casually wiped the counter with her cloth in order to feel less awkward.

"Gurl, you think I be made o' dolla, dolla bills? Nah man, I let him sell his shizz on MY turf, and he gives me bewm-bewmbs for the badonkadonks." To this, Tina leaned in to whisper something rather loudly.

"_He's mah BITCH." _The thirteen year-old retreated back to her seat with a crazed grin on her face.

Moxxi was unsure of what to do with a thirteen year-old kid who was psychotic and had an affinity for explosives. They sure made her curious though.

"If you've got the stuff, I guess you're here for a drink?" Moxxi searched for something with little to no alcohol, maybe some GPS? Before she can remember how she left the cause of that name on the steps of the CRHQ, a hand stopped her.

"Naw man." The ghetto in the youngsters voice had died down significantly.

Moxxi looked up to see Tina with a somewhat solemn expression on her face."The ECHO told me that you've started seein' my BFF 5ever." Tina said with just a sinch of underlying threat.

Moxxi met her stare head on. "Apparently, everyone on the planet knows." Moxxi retaliated using the same tone Tina had just used.

"Dis gonna be a problem?" Tina tilted her head to the side.

"Sugar, if you're gonna say something, say it." Moxxi leaned in, her arms supporting her upper body on the counter.

"The amount of schmucks and skanks you sleep wit', that gon' happen to Gaige?" Tina also leaned in, until their faces were a toothpick apart.

"The "schmucks" and "skanks" never invited me to a romantic, 20th century dinner." Moxxi smiled her usual, knowing smile, knowing she had won the first round.

"Watchya sayin' is that you'll keep her for a lil' longer? You're a changed woman, Mox." Tina said sardonically and leaned backwards. "You think Imma just sit here and let your fine ass blow her heart to a bagillion pieces? Nuh-uh."

This was a first. All her life, Moxxi had lived by the Pandoran way of life. Take what you want, do what you will, depend on yourself. No-one had ever tried to stop her for a reason that wasn't personal gain. It was slightly astonishing, a few years ago, no-one would've lifted a gun-arm to save a defenceless baby from being torn limb from limb by a thresher, but the day Mordecai, Lilith, Roland and Brick had stepped off that bus in Fyrestone, people had actually become decent. Nowadays, people apparently had BFFs even, Moxxi theorized briefly on how Pandora might evolve even further, into a somewhat normal world even. That day was probably firmly wedged between the last days of the human race and an actual government, with the added police force that weren't mercs. Come to think of it, most denizens of Pandora didn't know what government even meant.

They had a vague, almost transparent, grasp of the concept of a law-enforcing agency though.

Moxxi shook herself out of her philosophical daydream, she had to convince Tina that Gaige was something new, something different. Something that she was willing to trust and see through, despite what her gut told her.

She steeled herself. This was going to get disgustingly honest, sappy and feely. Breathe in. Breathe out. Like stable vital signs in a hospital. The repetitive comfort of the bars going up and down that often symbolize music. She unbars the basement door, the thoughts, ideas and truths come out, this time slowly. Organized. She lets go of the axe. The truth starts to expand and billow out into her mind and her concious like smoke, dry melting ice, or a lava lamp. It's a calming experience. One that she wouldn't mind experiencing again, but she reminds herself that there is a homicidal thirteen year-old who might or might not strap her to a totem made out of TNT, light the collective fuse and just _watch _if it so happens that she was going to hurt the feelings of said thirteen year-old's "BFF 5ever".

"You know what Tina? You're not at all wrong. I don't have the best record when it comes to... well, anything really." She let out a slight laugh. Partly out of disbelief that she was actually admitting this out loud. Partly out of, well, you know that feeling you get when you look back at your old photo albums and say stuff like "Christ on a pogo stick, was I really that stupid?" or "Remember those days?" or maybe you just let out a tired, wistful sigh for whatever reason you have. It was that feeling anyway.

"I think... well I think the reason for all that fooling around was because I never wanted to be trapped. Those people wanted me but they never actually wanted _me._ I never stayed with anyone for very long because I knew how it ended, it was all the same shtick y'know, in the end." She ended with a sigh and looked up at Tina, who had her arm crossed, supporting her other arm which was supporting her chin, Her face was set in contemplation mode. A good sign.

"That's why it won't end the same way. Gaige is pulling a different shtick. She doesn't want me, she wants _me_. THAT, has never happened. Ever. Not on Pandora, not in this entire solar system even." Moxxi unconsciously gripped the counter and the cloth harder. Her face defiant, like a soldier going to fight Crawmerax with nothing but her determination and her bare hands.

"Look Tina, I can't promise you that I'll be the attentive wife, the faithful princess, or the blushing virgin who isn't a virgin. I will tell you however, that I won't quit on this like I quit on my first husband. I won't give up on Gaige just because she doesn't surpass her already _fantastic _record every day. If I ever hurt her, I'll let you know first. But let me tell you right now, the rule is that you. Don't. **FUCK**. With me. And from this second right now, the second rule is that NOBODY. **FUCKS**. With my. Mechromancer. _Now you got that?" _Moxxi ended with a whispering done usually reserved for death threats, she didn't really know what came over her when this subject had arisen, and right now, she found that, amazingly,_ it felt so right. _She thought she would feel a burning sensation of embarrassment from being so filthy serious about a relationship, there was a burning sensation, no, it was _adiaphoretic. _But it wasn't embarrassment, it was a tequila comprised of pride, instinct, protectiveness and, dare she say?

Love?

It must've been. That was the only flavour she couldn't fully place. A funny taste, she would decide whether she liked it or not later.

Tina oh Tina.

She was flabbergasted. Quite literally. Her mouth was hanging a little, her eyelids had seemingly vanished, and her usual fidgeting and pacing had completely ceased. Moxxi knew for a fact that she had shown who was the mother-fucking alpha-female around here. It was a rushing feeling, getting a jackpot paled in comparison. Head-shots paled in comparison. She had gone on a 180 circling roller-coaster, started on the ground, swung her way up until she had the whole world beneath her, the pure euphoric jubilation of speed and power, she had defied gravity, come close to defying reality but not quite. Now she was swinging downwards, returning to the rules set by nature long ago. The queen of Sanctuary's pupils had been spliced into slits, her canines predominantly displayed, ready to cause wounds that no bullet, explosive, supernatural power or buzz-axe could cause to those who challenged her or threatened the one she cared for. Her claws dug into the counter like soldiers in trenches, ready to uproot it and let it precipitate upon said challengers.

Just give her an excuse.

"Daayum." Tina said in an awed voice. Similar to how one goes "Whooooa" when they see the seven wonders of the world. Tina was certain that she had found the eighth.

"_You got that?" _Moxxi asked once more, growling, but not quite. She hadn't flinched, blinked, shifted her feet or broken her stare for two minutes. She couldn't. Not until she got her answer.

Tina nodded enthusiastically. "Yup, copy that big momma, you go gurl." Tina snapped to action like a green recruit in the Crimson Lance.

Moxxi narrowed her savage, wild eyes for a what seemed like half a minute, before her carnivorous snarl retreated back into her mouth, until it needed to be released again.

"Good." Moxxi said curtly. Her eyes returning slowly to normality. Her nails exiting the marks that they had carved out of the counter.

"'Kay man, you ain't screwin' around and I LUV IT." Tina squealed in extreme happiness.

Moxxi's face was for once, devoid of expression. It said even less than Zer0's blank, black helmet. She had marked her territory, she was just waiting for the politics to sink in and for the foreign delegates to leave.

"Les' jus' keep it real that if you screw her up..." Tina paused.

"I'll invite you to a tea-party that makes Flesh-Stick's tea party look like an ACTUAL tea party." Tiny finished with a psychotic smile and slid of her stool with a sound that sounded like a mixture between a snort and a cute laugh, and skipped towards the fast travel station like nothing had ever happened.

Moxxi slumped together. Contemplating what she had just done. What she had just felt. Was it REALLY love, or just... some sort of maternal instinct that had laid dormant from when she had taken Ellie and Scooter from the Hodunks? When she had killed them because their filthy, stupid clan wanted to live in the dirt like animals, behave like dirt and animals? Tina had come prying into affairs that were too complicated for her right now. Even now there was still a part of her that was saying that it probably wasn't love, it couldn't have been. It never was. Was it never? Or just forever?

She closed early that day.

* * *

This was a really fun chapter, because I could write about Moxxi's internal battle. Tina is also a nice change of pace, isn't she? Review this shizz, or I'll, eat, YOUR BABIES.

-Breezewhiskers


	7. Epilogue

Things had been going surprisingly well for the unlikely couple for the past handful of months. Moxxi had been caught flirting with various other customers now and again, but Gaige had reprimanded her severely the times she had caught her. The barkeep was slowly but surely growing more and more accustomed to actually... y'know. _Staying._

When Gaige was not out vault hunting, starting clan wars, murdering bandits or tinkering on Deathtrap, she would abandon her comrades and rush to her loved one, hoping that perhaps she was not having a busy day and had time for her. If she _was _busy, Gaige would simply sit to the side and enjoy her presence. Moxxi didn't find the surveillance too comforting at first, eventually she came to enjoy it. She didn't really see a downside to her relationship with the spunky Mechromancer. Well, aside from her insecurities about sex. Gaige had told her repeatedly that she didn't feel ready, normally Moxxi would've called it a fanciful illusion and shown her that there was nothing to be insecure or afraid of. It was then that she remembered that Gaige was not native to Pandora. She had grown up on a civilized planet. With a government, police, the whole shebang. She'd even gone to _school. _Most denizens of Pandora would ask you if _education _was new Maliwan tech. "It sounds purdy so it must be" Scooter had said.

Part of what scared Gaige was the fact that her entire left arm was made out of metal. Would that make Moxxi uncomfortable? Disgusted even? She worried every time they got intimate that the other woman would object, or worse. Moxxi put those worries to rest though. She would take the metal limb and ease her face into the reluctant steel digits until Gaige understood that it was fully acceptable. She would then smile that genuine smile, no ulterior motive, no sexy innuendo, just a real smile. The make-up made it seem more magical than it probably was, but Gaige wouldn't remember it any other way.

Suffice to say, Moxxi was content to let Gaige come to her. Not actively seeking physical comfort in the arms of a partner was... different. She felt like _she_ was wanted, her entire identity. It felt more substantial than all of her past husbands put together. Honestly, she couldn't wait until the day Gaige was finally ready.

Her daydreaming was interrupted by a metal arm on the counter. It emitted a slight clink as it made contact with the surface. A smile spread across Moxxi's face in synchronization with the sound.

"Hey." Sincere smile.

"Ho." Playful grin.

"Let's..." Singular eyebrow arched.

"Go?" Wistful lips.

Moxxi chuckled at their impromptu exchange. Her hands found their way to the metal hand that she had grown so fond of these past few months. "Let's." She murmured in a hushed voice, never ceasing to look at the elegant piece of technology that was part of the woman she had come to...

She didn't dare say the word in her mind, not yet anyway.

* * *

Moxxi led her through the main aisle and out through the main entrance. The other Vault Hunters who were sitting in a booth nodded towards the couple approvingly. As they passed with content faces, Maya took her mug and raised it to her comrades.

"Here's to them not breaking up yet!" Maya exclaimed happily.

Murmurs of approval spread throughout the band of misfits and thieves, Zer0 and Axton still had a few bets lined up though. Maya was concerned the commando might have a gambling problem, but she would worry about it later. Right now she was simply happy for the odd couple that walked through the door. She leaned out of the booth to catch a last glimpse of the two, They were holding hands, walking at an equal pace into the fading evening light of the Pandoran sun.

The intense orange light blinded her after a few seconds, when she blinked to clear her eyes, they were gone.

* * *

Outside, they walked to edge of the floating city. They admired the otherworldly view together in silence, metal never leaving flesh.

"I guess this is it isn't it?" Moxxi said quietly.

"This is what?" Gaige asked with slight worry in her voice.

"This is the part were I have to say it, once and for all."

"Please don't." The Mechromancer's words leaking more worry.

"It wouldn't be fair to you otherwise, sugar." A singular, black tear slowly crawled down the immaculate white surface, like a scar being carved by an invisible blade of taint. It scared Gaige. It scared her so very much, please don't, please don't.

Before she could consider other possibilities, Gaige let go of her hand and instead embraced the other woman, putting her head on Moxxi's shoulder. "Don't do this to me. _Please._ I'll do whatever it takes. Just tell me what I did. Please just... stay." Gaige whispered fervently into Moxxi's ear, her human hand stroking the back of the other woman's head.

Moxxi murmured something into the Mechromancer's shoulder. She could only hear the last word. "You".

Gaige stilled her human hand, her entire body locked like the mechanical counterpart. She forced her voice not to quaver, not to stammer, not to fail. It seemed like an hour before she forced herself to speak once more.

The struggle was folly in the end.

"W-_what?" _She heard her own voice, giving voice to the water from her eyes that was mixing with the hair of her beloved. Her throat was clogged by something, making it sound even worse.

Gaige's eyebrows made contact with the goggles sitting atop her forehead when she felt the embrace being returned.

She could feel warm breath gracing her left ear, there was another word, too vague to make out. A pause.

"...Love you"

More ragged breaths, they seemingly come from every direction. The embrace tightens, Gaige is sure that her nose will break upon Moxxi's neck, yet she can't think of it as bad, even though she knows it probably is. Right now it's just enough to assure her that this is in fact real, the pain coming from her nose reminds her. She holds onto it, but she doesn't think of it as pain, it's a sensation, but she can't feel the negative pressure, because _she's right there._

There are no more words.

They stand there long after the final rays of light have turned into blackness.

If they could have noticed, they could not have given the slightest hint of a damn.

Because she loved her.

And so did she.


End file.
